I never became so interested in investing until I became a therapist.

People invest money, no doubt, but there are also investments of energy: time, thoughts, emotions. It’s just that no one pays attention to the return on energy investment the way they typically do with money.

So people invest their time, emotions, and thoughts to people, circumstances, and issues without ever expecting anything in return. Even sex.

And yet the memo that keeps slipping through the cracks is the one that says, “nothing depletes our energy like a bad sexual experience.”

For the record: A bad sexual experience is not a crime. It is not assualt, abuse or exploitative. It’s simply not good sex. Not a crime but not a win. Especially for the following reasons.


We don’t like ourselves in the morning: “Why in the fuck did I do that?”

We don’t like the person/s the next morning: “Why in the fuck would I do that with them?”

We don’t always like how our bodies feel or the judgment that put our bodies in that position: “I will never consent to ____________________ again!”

All of which are investments of energy. All of which consume our energy leaving us more depleted.

However, for those of us in need a good time, sometimes sex is a difficult thing to pass up. Unless you pay attention to the return on such an investment.

More often than not, we have a pretty good idea of whether the moment is going to go south. By continuing to do something that won’t leave us fulfilled is  investing energy in something that will leave us in the red. Depleted.

But if we shut down what does not promise to be a good time …

“Hey, you up?”

“Can I get the spatula?”

“Are you as into this as I am?”
–“No. Where are my shoes?”

… then the only energy we lose is the exertion from the bullet we dodged.



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