Relying on a gun as the only weapon of choice is pretty narrow minded. This sentiment is not one intended to encourage/discourage the gun debate. Rather, this sentiment is a true reflection of many of the people I work with.
The people I work with are not naturally narrow minded. Most don’t even know they’re being narrow minded. But what I see in my office time and time again are conditioned thought processes. Automatic responses to a question that has numerous answers.
I mean, sure, there’s a gun, but there’s also a knife, a slingshot, legs, fingernails, pepper spray, skillet, etc. I’ve seen these weapons used. I may have used some myself. And I can report that they’re quite effective if the intention is to simply get away. And for most of us, that’s really the objective. Yet, we forget that not every weapon has to be a lethal one. Just like my clients.
Most of the people that I work with are products of our society. And based on what I’ve observed, our society has a nasty habit of keeping our minds in a very narrow box. One that says …
“Therapists are trustworthy”
“Therapy will make me happy”
“Reflect, reframe, paraphrase, and checking-in is quality therapy”
Yet the most confounding component is this: No one questions it.
No one questions …
“What makes my therapist trusthworthy?”
“Is happiness the goal?”
“Doesn’t ‘reflect and reframe’ seem a bit arbitrary?”
And like many of the weapons listed above, the voice can actually be one of the strongest. Especially in a therapist’s office. A voice that doesn’t simply expect what’s expected but questions what’s expected.
Questions the therapist, the approach, the treatment and the diagnosis. (Yes, please question the diagnosis!)
When questions are brought in by those deemed most vulnerable, it leaves room for possibility. The possibility that therapists can be a weapon too. But only if numerous questions through the voice of the client point it in the right direction.
Test
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Shame/Blame/Guilt: The threesome we can’t live without
Grad school duped me. I spent several years in grad school learning about the issues that bring people to therapy: anxiety, depression, stress. And in those several years, I was taught how the above affected the people I'd be working with. "Class, these issues impact...
No sex is better than bad sex
I never became so interested in investing until I became a therapist. People invest money, no doubt, but there are also investments of energy: time, thoughts, emotions. It's just that no one pays attention to the return on energy investment the way they typically do...
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C.P.R. 101
C.P.R 101Wanna learn how to work smarter rather than harder when it comes to handling stress? Don't miss C.P.R. 101. We'll gain a deeper understanding of ... Coping: "OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING!!!!!" Processing: "Okay, guess this is happening." Reflecting:...
Kids are overrated
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You can’t reason with …
This sentiment seems pretty evident. Although you wouldn't know it based on how many people in my office try to do exactly this. Trying to reason is not the problem. It's when the trying becomes wish-fulfillment. Wishing that your unreasonable mother, father, spouse,...
To be affected …
Prior to working as a therapist, I trusted that to be affected by hardship ... tragedy ... adversity ... grief was normal. Being affected by life kicking your ass was normal. Who wouldn't be affected? But what I came to find after working as a therapist was that my...
The longest relationship
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