Grad school duped me.
I spent several years in grad school learning about the issues that bring people to therapy: anxiety, depression, stress.
And in those several years, I was taught how the above affected the people I’d be working with.
“Class, these issues impact your clients’ self-confidence and self-esteem …”
If self-confidence and self-esteem were the only things we worked on in my office, therapy would be as supportive as they tell us.
But the thing that I can’t quite understand is why they never tell us the truth.
Anxiety is not the issue. Depression is not the issue. Stress or even trauma is not the issue.
These three affect people. They can keep someone stuck. They can cause the nervous system to run too hot or too cold. Or even make it difficult to get up in the morning. But these three don’t strip people of their identify.
Shame, blame, and guilt do.
The shame around the anxiety.
“What functional person acts this way, Michelle?”
The blame around the depression.
“I should be over this already, Michelle.”
The guilt around the stress, or even the trauma.
“I can’t live with myself knowing that my trauma could impact my family, Michelle.”
If we, as therapists, were taught how to identify the real issue, therapy might be truly supportive.
Or, at the very least, more supportive than simply teaching our clients how to meditate and deep breathe themselves into stress relief.